Ah, stubbornness, the curious creature that often masquerades as resolve. This has come up in a lot of my conversations lately.

“Stubbornness is sometimes an asset. It depends on what you’re being stubborn about.”

– Harriet Beecher Stowe

Let’s explore this paradoxical land where the line between strength and folly blurs. Stubbornness can feel like a virtue; a badge of honor we wear to signal our commitment to values, beliefs, or perhaps just our pride. Yet, when unchecked, it often leads us to dig trenches where there should be bridges.

The Thin Line Between Persistence and Obstinacy

Persistence and stubbornness share a family resemblance, but oh, how different their destinies! While persistence builds cathedrals, stubbornness erects walls.  Stubbornness in its raw form is immovable, an anchor that tethers us to a single point. But what if we repurposed that anchor? Determination is simply stubbornness with direction. It’s not about refusing to budge; it’s about choosing to move forward with purpose.

We often confuse being stuck with being steadfast. But the key lies in asking: Is this path serving me, or am I just digging in my heels for pride’s sake? When we shift the narrative, stubbornness becomes a powerful force for progress.

Philosophers through the ages have warned against clinging too tightly to ideas. Montaigne declared, “Stubborn and ardent clinging to one’s opinion is the best proof of stupidity.” In other words, there’s wisdom in knowing when to fold, when to adapt, and when to concede. The Greeks called it metanoia; a transformative change of heart. It’s not a surrender but an evolution, a willingness to reorient oneself toward truth rather than self-preservation.

The moment stubbornness finds a goal, it becomes focus. It’s not about letting go of persistence but redirecting it. Focus is what happens when we channel that stubborn energy, aligning it with something meaningful. Think of it as the caterpillar transforming into the butterfly: the essence remains, but the function evolves.

Off with My Head? Not Today: A Tale of Stubbornness in Wonderland

The Queen of Hearts had summoned me for a croquet match, which, as you may know, is less a game and more a trial of patience when the mallets are flamingos and the balls are hedgehogs. But the real trouble began when the Queen insisted that I play by her “rules,” which seemed to change every time she opened her mouth. One moment, I was winning. The next, I was apparently disqualified for “unauthorized hedgehog rolling.” Honestly, who can keep up?

“I don’t see why I should follow your rules when you don’t follow them yourself,” I said, planting my feet firmly on the manicured grass. The other players gasped. It was a risky move, I’ll admit, but my stubborn streak had fully taken over. The Queen’s face turned as red as her dress. “Off with her head!” she bellowed.

For a moment, I thought she might actually explode. But then the Cheshire Cat appeared out of thin air, his grin as wide as ever. “My, my, Alice,” he purred. “You’re playing a dangerous game. Though I must say, it’s quite entertaining to watch.” The Queen sputtered and stomped, but eventually, she moved on to terrorize someone else. And I? Well, I kept my head and my dignity, all thanks to a healthy dose of stubbornness.

Stubbornness, like tea, can be delightful in moderation. When over-steeped, it turns bitter, when misunderstood, it can trap us in futile pursuits. But sometimes, standing your ground, even against a tyrant, is the most Wonderland thing you can do. Knowing when to stand firm and when to let go is not just a skill but an art.  When redirected it becomes focus; a steadfast energy that moves mountains. The key is learning to recognize when you’re stuck and finding the courage to pivot. After all, even in Wonderland, the best tea is brewed with a dash of compromise and a splash of humility. Cheers to sipping life wisely!